Is your child ready to stay home alone?

Some parents dread it, while others are anxiously awaiting it…the decision to leave your child home alone for the first time. How do you determine if your child is ready to stay home alone? Only a few states have laws that specify the age when a child can be left home alone, including Maryland (age 8) and Illinois (age 14). In Kansas and Missouri, state laws do not specify the age at which a child can be left home alone.

Most states have guidelines with the Department of Health and Human Services or other child protective agencies that test a child’s ability to be left home alone. According to the Child Welfare Reform Information Gateway, here are some questions to consider before leaving your child home alone:

• Does your child feel comfortable being home alone?
• Does your child obey rules and make good decisions?
• Is your child physically and mentally able to care for himself?
• How does your child respond to stressful situations?
• How long will your child be left home alone?
• What time of day will your child be left alone?
• What routines well your child be responsible for? (i.e. Will your child need to fix a meal?)
• Is your home safe and free of hazards?
• How safe is your neighborhood?
• Are there adults nearby that you trust and you are home and can offer mediate systems if there’s an emergency or if your child get scared?
• Does your child know what to do if a visitor comes to the door?
• Does your family have a safety plan for emergencies? Can your child follow this plan?
• Does your child no his or her full name, address, and phone number?
• Does your child know where you are and how to contact you at all times?
• Does your child know who to contact if you cannot be reached? 

 

Once you have determined that your child is ready to stay home alone, the following tips may help prepare your child to feel more comfortable about staying home alone:

1. Communicate. Encourage your child to share his feelings with you about staying home alone. Have this conversation before leaving and when you return.
2. Establish rules. Make sure your child knows what is (and is not allowed) when you’re not home. Set clear limits.  Some experts suggest making a list of chores or other tasks to keep children busy while you are gone.
3. Have a trial period. Leave your child home alone for a short time while walking the dog around the block or running a quick errand to the grocery store. This is a good way to see how your child will manage on their own.
4. Role-play. Act out possible scenarios to help your child learn what to do if a visitor comes to the door and how to answer phone calls in a way that doesn’t reveal that a parent is not at home.
5. Discuss emergencies. Talk about what your child considers an emergency and what you consider an emergency. Create a form with the plan and contact numbers in the event of an emergency.
6. Prepare. Spend time with your child before you leave preparing simple snacks and meals, making sure doors are locked, reviewing house rules and expectations for behavior. This is a great opportunity to fill your child’s bucket and let them know how much you care about them and their safety.
7. Check in. Call your child while you are away to see how everything is going. If you are not able to check in, ask a trusted neighbor or friend to do this for you.
8. Don’t overdo it. Even a mature responsible child needs interaction with their peers and adults. Consider other options such as programs offered by schools, community centers, youth organizations or faith-based organizations.

If you determine your child is not ready to be left home alone consider these options for childcare:

• Daycare
• The Family Conservancy Summer Camps Guide
• Vacation Bible School
• Co-op with a neighbor
• Hire a college or high school student to “nanny”

Two Strategies to Help your Child’s Sleep Schedule when Daylight Savings Time Begins

 Daylight Savings Time begins on Sunday, March 13th, 2016.  This is the time of year when we spring our clocks forward (and lose one-hour of sleep). For most of us, the lost hour of shut-eye is no big deal, but for young children, daylight savings can create a kink in their sleep-wake cycle.

So, what can parents do?

First and foremost, begin by developing these healthy sleep habits:

1. Establish a consistent sleep schedule for your child. Bedtime and nap times are always the same time.
2. Establish a 20-30 minute bedtime routine. (i.e. Brush teeth, story time, prayers, snuggles, good night kiss.)
3. Know your child’s sleepy cues. Consistency is encouraged, but also be aware of your child’s sleepy cues. (Yawning, irritability, etc.) An over-tired child will have a more difficult time falling asleep, so start the bedtime routine as soon as you see those sleepy cues.
4. Eliminate bright lights or screens at least an hour before bedtime. Blue light interferes with melatonin production and can create bigger bedtime battles.

Once you have these basic sleep practices in place, choose one of these two methods to help your little one transition with the time change:  “Go with the Flow” or “Adjust the Schedule Steady and Slow”.

“GO WITH THE FLOW”

WHO: Early risers, kids who typically wake up at the crack of dawn and kids older than two years old.

HOW:

1. Move all your clocks ahead one hour before going to bed Saturday night (March 12, 2016)
2. On Sunday, continue with your normal routine. If you have an early-riser, your child should wake up a little later.
3. Keep nap and mealtime routines on schedule according to their usual schedule. (i.e. If nap time is noon, keep it at noon)
4. Keep bedtime the same as always, if bedtime has always been 7:30pm, keep it at 7:30pm.

“ADJUST THE SCHEDULE STEADY AND SLOW”

WHO: Babies and children who are more sensitive to changes in schedule

HOW: Slowly adjust your child’s bedtime after the time change:

1.   Shift your clocks forward one hour on Saturday night (March 12, 2016).
2.   Sunday, keep your child in bed until the new waking time, which would be 30 minutes earlier than normal. So if your child normally wakes at 8:00 a.m., you will want to wake your child up at 7:30 a.m. (which is the old 6:30 a.m.).
3.   For bedtime, you’ll want to have your child in bed at 8:30 p.m. (this is the old 7:30 p.m.).
4.   It’s important that you are consistent with your child’s schedule and routines. To do this by moving all mealtimes and naps 1/2-hour later.
5.  After 2-3 days, move your child’s bedtime back another 1/2-hour to 8:00 p.m. (the old 7:00 p.m.). You will also need to shift your baby’s waking time later by 1/2-hour. So you’ll now wake your child at 8:00 a.m.
6. Adjust all mealtimes and naps 30-minutes later throughout your daily routine.

It can take a week or two for kids to adjust to the time change.  So, stay consistent and persistent.

The BEST jeans for the kid that ONLY wears elastic waisted athletic pants.

For the past two years, my 9-year old son’s wardrobe has rarely deviated from elastic waisted athletic pants.  We have endured tears and tantrums about putting on a pair of pants that have a zipper for class programs, weddings, and family portraits.

I am not the mom who picks out their kids’ outfits everyday.  I’m exactly the opposite.  Anyone who has seen my kids on any given school day knows that I let my offspring choose their clothing–almost always.

  A handful of times each year, I ask ny kids to wear something that matches and looks like they didn’t just roll out of bed or walk off the basketball court.

Special occasions requiring dressed-up attire have been a tearful, sweaty disaster with my big-guy.  UNTIL, my neighbor enlightened  me about Abercrombie & Fitch’s sweatpant stretch jeans.

That’s right.  SWEATPANT. JEANS.

Jeans that fit and feel like sweatpants. This is not a joke. This is a real thing. If you don’t know about it, you are missing out.

After purchasing a pair of the $39.95 a&f straight sweatpant stretch jeans, my 9-year old son who hasn’t worn a pair of jeans without crying in 2-years exclaimed,

“On a scale from 1-10, I give these a 9.75!”

Then, HE WORE THEM TO SCHOOL! All day.  Without complaining. He even rode his bike around the block wearing them after school.

I am getting ZERO kickbacks from a&f for this blog (although I would gladly except some in order to afford multiple pairs of these magical sweatpants jeans).  I wrote this so other mothers with “husky” “sensory-sensitive” boys can experience the bliss and freedom from a life lived solely in athletic pants.
Disclaimer: my husky 9-year old needed a size 14 in the skinny stretch jeans, so size up if your little man is a bigger-little man.

Seriously…Give your family the gift of a athletic pant-free holiday and order some of these magical jeans today!  You will not regret it.  Especially when it’s time to go to Aunt Vivienne’s fancy China-clad Christmas Eve dinner and you kid wants to roll up to the table in his Under Armour apparel.

 A&F Sweatpant Stretch Jeans

My Birthday Suit

Last night, I was reading Pam Grout’s book, ART & SOUL:  156 Ways to Free Your Creative Spirit.  If you haven’t heard of Pam Grout, she is an amazing woman from Lawrence, Kansas with a bunch of awesome books on life and spirituality.  Anyway-the book is full of creative ways to make life fun!  Week 1: “Go to the thrift store and buy the most outrageous outfit you can”.  As I lay in bed pondering that idea, it occurred to me that I was not going to have time to go to the Thrift Shop anytime soon, but I certainly had some outrageous clothes in my own closet. So there was born:  My Birthday Suit.

The birthday suit was born, 1-10-2014 in my year of fun. I plan to wear it every birthday from now on. I chuckle at the thought of me wearing it when I am 92!

I am embarking on a year of fun.   It all started New Year’s Day when I chose my one word for the year…FUN!
Today, on my 35th birthday, I woke up and decided what better day to christen my year of fun than wearing my birthday suit!?!? Mid-life crisis, maybe. But, I anticipate living at least 92 years like my grandma, and with the advances in medicine and a healthy lifestyle I expect to go much beyond that.  So, I’m looking at 46 or later for my midlife crisis.  I like to think of this year as more of an awakening.
An awakening to what life is really about… is all about the journey and this year I am embarking on a creative, silly, happy, fun journey!

Watch out 2014…here I come!